


stages of grief

by ravengremlin



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Blood, Dissociation, Five Stages of Grief, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), my gc made me sad so i wrote this, no beta we die like tubbo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:40:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29922537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravengremlin/pseuds/ravengremlin
Summary: ranboo kills tubbo and deals with the aftermath.
Relationships: Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo
Comments: 7
Kudos: 89





	stages of grief

the first stage is denial. 

ranboo cradles tubbo in his arms. he can’t remember how he got here but there’s so much blood, too much blood. he must have been crying, because his cheeks are stinging, although he can’t remember when he started. 

his sword is nearby, he notices. it’s covered in blood– tubbo’s blood? did he do this? 

(no. no, he couldn’t have. he would never hurt tubbo... right?)

tears are still falling down his face but he can’t bring himself to care. not when tubbo’s bleeding out in his arms and–

no. tubbo isn’t dead. he can’t be dead, he’s the only person ranboo can trust. the only person ranboo has left.

(distantly, a memory rings through his head. of tubbo gently tracing his face and telling him “it’s okay, my beloved, i forgive you”. the memory slips from his desperate hands before he can even hold it)

...there’s too much blood. how did ranboo get here again?

\---

the second stage is anger. 

ranboo clutches tubbo close and he screams. if anyone was nearby they would have heard a scream of anguish, mixed with the distressed cry of an enderman. but no one is there to hear him scream. 

he screams until his throat is raw, until he can’t anymore, and then he collapses to the ground. he’s so tired. there’s an aching in his bones and in his heart and everything hurts so bad why won’t it just stop–

ranboo punches the ground next to him. when did everything go wrong? why did it all go wrong? he doesn’t know. he doesn’t care anymore. he misses tubbo...

...he killed tubbo. he hates himself for it. he hates himself with every fiber of his being, more than he hates anyone else, even dream.

“i miss you, my beloved. i’m sorry,” ranboo whispers, even if there’s so one around to hear it. “i should have been the one to protect you, not the one to hurt you. i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, please say something, anything–“

ranboo breaks down again and tears cut into his cheeks. the blood is dry now, but the wound in his heart is still fresh. it still hurts. everything hurts.

\---

the third stage is bargaining. 

ranboo looks up at the sky and pleads for help. he pleads for anyone, anything to help him. he begs the gods to help him, to bring tubbo back. he tells them that he’ll do anything and he begs as tears stream down his face, eating painfully into his skin. 

he calls for help, but no one comes. 

but there has to be a way to get tubbo back, right? there has to be. dream has a revival book, he could ask dream for help.

...as if dream would help him. and even if he did, there would be a price to pay. tubbo wouldn’t want ranboo to do that for him. 

so ranboo has to find another way. he has to. he’ll never be able to forgive himself if he can’t. he’ll never be able to forgive himself for what he’s done. 

he holds tubbo close and thinks of anything, any way to bring him back. ranboo doesn’t want to leave him. he can’t bring himself to leave tubbo. 

desperately, he messages phil with blood-stained and shaking hands, asking if he knows how to revive someone. 

he receives no answer. 

he messages technoblade. still no answer. why won’t anyone answer? why doesn’t anyone care?

ranboo knows why. he knows what he’s done. he kneels in a puddle of dried blood and drowns in his regret.

\---

the fourth stage is depression. 

ranboo is exhausted. his throat hurts and so do his cheeks and there’s an aching in his heart that just won’t go away. he’s too tired to cry anymore. he’s worn out and he feels numb and empty inside. 

he would say that he doesn’t care, but that’s not true. he may be numb but he can still feel the pain of tubbo’s death weighing down his heart. 

if anything he feels disconnected from himself, almost like he’s watching everything through a screen. he feels like static, or a feather drifting in the wind. he’s not even sure that he’s not dreaming right now. 

it would be better if he was dreaming. 

he drifts further and finds himself imagining waking up from this dream. he wakes up and sees tubbo sleeping peacefully next to him, clutching a bee plushie in his arms and keeping all the blankets to himself. tubbo always stole all the blankets and ranboo never had it in him to be mad. ranboo gets out of bed with a smile on his face and checks on michael, and then he goes about his day. 

but it’s not a dream, and he’s not waking up next to tubbo. he’s kneeling in a pool of dried blood and he feels like he’s dreaming but he’s not. he wishes he was. he wants to wake up from this nightmare, but he can’t. 

ranboo lets the static embrace him as everything fades into the background. he lets his mind drift away from the present, away from pain. he can’t feel anything.

\---

the last stage of grief is acceptance. 

tubbo is dead. tubbo is dead and ranboo killed him. 

there’s nothing he can do, so ranboo picks up his netherite shovel and starts digging. he extends the island that tubbo made for tommy’s grave and digs a hole there. 

tears roll down his face, leaving painful burns as they fall. ranboo carefully picks up tubbo’s body and holds it close to him as he walks back to the grave he made. 

he gently places tubbo’s body in the grave next to tommy’s and then covers it with dirt. not stopping to think about what he’s doing, he builds tubbo a gravestone and mounts a sign on it that says “in the memory of tubbo. a great president and an even better friend”. 

once ranboo’s done, he collapses to his knees in front of the two graves, the weight of what he's done finally hitting him. he’s seen two of his friends die now, one of which by his own hands. 

it hurts. his heart aches and sits heavy in his chest, but he knows he deserves it. he killed tubbo. he’s worse than everyone he’s ever hated. 

ranboo leaves the gravestones and he doesn’t look back, not even when he swears he hears tubbo calling after him, telling him to come home. he knows that he doesn’t have a home anymore.


End file.
